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Past Events / Re: April Fool's Comedy Shenanigans
« Last post by Youkai on March 31, 2024, 10:45:29 PM »


After the first performance ran off of the stage, another woman would step up to the middle of the podium. She'd clear her throat and looked at her notes, clearly more comfortable with public speaking.

"Three ninjas have run out of chips to bet, so they asked the dealer if they can make different type of deal."

The woman gulped.

"A tea bet."

Cough. Blink.

"Tibet. Tea bet. You know, where we're allegedly from?"

In a scramble, much like the first, she ducked off of the stage for the next person to take the stage.
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Past Events / April Fool's Comedy Shenanigans
« Last post by Raffa on March 31, 2024, 10:26:43 PM »


Welcome to Auralis City Comedy Club! A place where unfunny people can say funny things!

It's a comedy week over here in Auralis City where characters from all walks of life can chill together at a club, tell bad/cringy/funny/unfunny Defenders of Justice-themed jokes starting from April 1st to April 8th! Participating players will gain one point that they'll be able to spend on one character! Terms and Conditions Apply!





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"What do you mean "the opening act isn't here?"

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"Well, when are they getting here...!?"

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"Uh-huh..."

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"Yeah...?"

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"Uh-huh...? No...! Wait! No! Nonononononononono-"











"-nononono... no... ohhhh..."

Deep breath.

"O-okay, uhm... Okay... I... uhh... uhhh... s-s-s-s-s-s-so... a guy... a-uh, oh God, there are so many people in here."

Gulp.

"A... uh... ekhm... okay... a... uh... a p-public transport inspector goes t-to Dis and, uh... to... uh..."

Discreetly glances at the note.

"...to inspect the p-public transport thing and, uh... he... he gives it a 1-star review and... and goes back to his office. And then... his friend asks him... he... he... he asks him: "H-how was it?"."

Sweating.

"He... he then says "Oh, the... the service... the service was great! I got a blowjob and everything."."

Wipes the brow.

""Oh, yeah" says the other guy. "Then... then how come you only gave it a 1-star?"."

Legs trembling visibly.

"Then the guy says "Because it only serves one"."

Deep breath.

""It was a Succubus"."

Pause.

"A Succubus."

Pause. Cough.

"A succu-... a 'sucky bus'..."

Runs off stage.
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A message sent to Astrid is delivered to her. Though it isn't exactly clear how, it's not like Yvonne had an adress or well.... not one the mailman delivers to anyway. Maybe she hand delivered it?

"My master, my mistress, my lady. Thank you for showing me the way.
It is something that I will hope to one day repay.
I hope you will teach me so much more.
To you it is that my oath I swore.
I would ask, may I spend with you this valantine's day?
"
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Lilliana wasn't doing much at the time. But with her Mistress always in the back of her head, her daily life continued. The work on expanding her influence at the dock would come to a halt however when Mistress' command came. Sending a message back.

"Ofcourse not mistress. Whatever chance you grant, I will gladly take. My adoration for you will be known to all, as I hope it makes their jealousy ache."

With a plan now set, she went to her wardrobe. Something elegant and flashy...
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Grandmaster Shibuya!

I did some studying lately on human customs and discovered that it's tradition to send thoughtful notes to someone you are a fond of around this time of year!
Since I am fond of you, you're receiving a card!
I also learned that it's customary to offer gifts for this occasion.
Therefore, I would like to offer the best gift that befits the woman of your stature.
During out recent excursion into Dis, I've noticed that you've gained 1.257 kilograms. Furthermore, I think that your top-heavy form is inefficient and could use slimming down. So I am offering you a quick, two-week crash course diet and exercise regimen to help you remove the excess weight and bring your body back into its top shape!
I can think of no better gift than to ensure that you live a long and healthy life.

Your Valentine's Day admirer,
Leslie

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For Zlata

Redheads are so cute
Your fighting is poetry
See you again soon?
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Left in Vee's appartment was a heart shaped box next to a vase containing a red rose, a white rose, and a black rose. On top of the box was a note.

At the unlikelest time,
I found someone who I'd like to be mine.
When I saw you I saw the prettiest dove,
and I knew you are my one true love.
My dearest Vee, will you be my valentine?

- Your lion, Leander.


In the box Vee would find an assortment of high-end chocolate.
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The DRU's mail screening process was rigorous, which made the pastel blue envelope Poppy found on her bunk all the more bizarre. It read to "the robo lady" from "a secret admirer".

Inside, was a short and bizarre poem, with an even more bewildering sign-off.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
You want answers
I've got a few

I'll be in touch,

Lane
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A deep “Bouff!” sounded behind Jennifer on a daily patrol. A rumbling sounded through the earth a moment later, as a vast hound bounded up to her.



It sniffed intently at the paladin’s armor for seconds, broad wet nose poking under the plates. Ultimately satisfied, it tilted its chin upwards in a proud and noble gesture, somewhat marred by the excited wagging of its tail. Hanging from its collar, beneath the tag reading “Gilbert”, was a red leather cylinder: waterproof, sturdy storage for paper in an old fashion. And inside was a note, barely taking up a quarter of the space.

Seven, eight years ago, big storm in the cafe in that little Scottish village? Black hair, scruffy beard, awful smug grin?

Gave me a lot to think about back then. Like to think I’ve learned from it. Maybe not enough, but a demon can hope. Wanted to thank you for that, setting me on a different path. Not a great time, but I’m not holding out for a better one.

If not, no hard feelings. Trust is hard to come by these days. Otherwise… pick a spot—food, drinks, art, whatever. I’ll buy. No tricks, no seduction.

-Eric


Rolled into the card was a bright red flower—but not the sumptuous rose one might’ve expected. A pressed poppy, the petals thin and fragile in the open air. Gilbert sat patiently, waiting for a response.
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Somehow, some way, a small box would find itself to the ninja village. Perhaps from one of the Institute liaisons? perhaps from magic? Perhaps love just found a way. Who knew.

What was known. Was that the small box, pine, with a green ribbon. Was delivered to a small hut, located on the outskirts of the village. Should the owner of said hut, crack the box open, she'd find a small cross section of nine chocolates. Small cuts of strawberry adorning them. There was a small note as well.

"Sybil.

I hope you're well? Not too busy with...

I just wanted to say... Thank you. You've been the wind beneath my wings. And I wanted to show my appreciation for what I've found because of you.

You don't have to meet me again, you're probably super popular. But if you'd be up for it. I'd like to re do our meeting. But with less... invading and brain turning off...

Ah! I'm sorry. But...

.. I. Hope to hear from you soon.

Caera"
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